My Guardian Angel
by Emily Hoyt
Summary: He'd made the mistake of revealing his true self to the good doctor. He wasn't going to make the same mistake with his detective. LM/CD Deckerstar


Sitting alone in his apartment, the space felt empty. Normally, Lucifer enjoyed the solitute that his living quarters offered. Lately, it seemed like everyone was visiting him without warning. The detective, his mother, his brother... even the new medical examiner. He raised the glass and took another drink, downing the entire shot of scotch. His godly constitution resisted the effects of alcohol in regular, human dosage and achieveing a state of stupor and apathy required much, much more than he had drunk so far.

His hand had barely wrapped around the neck of the bottle when his elevator _pinged_ the arrival of yet another visitor and he threw his head back with a sharp bark of humourless laughter.

"I don't know why I bother coming up here anymore. It seems like everyone just comes in whenever they wish. I might as well move to the lobby and install a revolving door for all the comings and goings!" Lucifer looked towards the sliding lift doors and snapped his mouth shut when he saw the detective standing in his entrance, looking as though she just might burst into tears. "I'm sorry, detective," he whispered, pouring that drink he'd been on the verge of when she arrived. "It appears I'm in a bit of a foul mood this evening."

"I can see that," she said, her voice so low he barely heard her. She not only looked ready to cry; she sounded it, too. "I shouldn't have come." With that, she turned and pressed the button to the elevator door, but someone must have called it away because it didn't reopen immediately as she evidently hoped it would.

"I'm sorry, Chloe," he said, setting down his glass and getting off the couch to approach her. "I didn't mean it. I've just had... a lot of unwelcome guests lately."

"It's okay, Lucifer. I get it. I should have called first," she insisted, not turning to face him as she stabbed the button, hoping it would speed the elevator.

"Please, don't leave," he whispered as the doors slid open, her foot just about to take a step. He reached in front of her and placed a hand in the way, holding the lift. "I understand if you wish to leave; I wasn't exactly welcoming," he said, looking at her, waiting for her to finally meet his eyes. "But I'd love it if you stayed... at least a little while."

After what felt like an age, Chloe's eyes finally lifted up and looked into his eyes before she lowered them again, biting her lip and nodding. Lucifer removed his hand and the doors slid closed once more. She turned and walked into the living room, sitting on the chair adjacent to the couch. Seconds later, Lucifer sat down beside her, placing another glass on the table. Her eyes narrowed on him.

"Are you drunk?" she asked, but he chuckled.

"Detective, I'd have to drink my way through Lux before I even started to get tipsy," he said, pouring them each a drink.

"Lucifer... I... we need to talk."

"Hmm... never heard any story that began like this that ended well," he teased, downing his shot.

"Please... please don't joke. And please, stop drinking!" she added as he went to pour yet another drink. Lucifer froze halfway to the bottle, turning to look at her, taking in her wide, pleading eyes and slightly trembling lips.

"Detective, what's wrong?" he said, his attention now focused solely on her.

"Lucifer, we... I consider you my partner. You've always got my back." She wrung her hands in her lap. "I'd even say we've become... friends... sort of. You... you might annoy me sometimes, but I'd still say we're friends," she said, now running her hands up and down her thighs. She was nervous and it showed.

Lucifer realized she needed to get something off her chest and, for once, he couldn't bring himself to tease, prod and be in any way disrespectful. Instead, he smiled slightly and nodded his head.

"Go on."

Chloe took a deep breath and stood up, pacing only a couple of steps before sitting on the edge of the table, her knees against his, and wrapped her hands around his.

"I can't do this anymore," she whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek. Her pain tore at his heart and he freed one of his hands to wipe away her tear.

"Detective, please. Please don't cry. These aren't like the tears the other day. These... these are because I've hurt you. Please, tell me, what can I do?" he asked, not quite frantic, but desperately wanting to soothe her.

"Lucifer... you've saved my life several times and you know that I trust you with my life. Not just mine... but I'd even trust you with Trixie's," she said, swiping at another stray tear, still not quite able to bring herself to look in his eyes. "But... but I know... I just know that you're keeping things from me."

Lucifer let out a sigh of disgust and exasperation, but her grip on his hands was tight enough that he stayed where he was and took the time to truly look at her. She was sniffling back tears and taking deep breaths, trying to stay as calm and collected as possible, but this conversation was evidently very painful for her.

"And... and as much as I very... very much _want_ to trust you, I can't... not if you don't trust me."

Chloe took one more deep breath and lifted her eyes to his for the first time since beginning their conversation. They were red and rimmed with unshed tears, her cheeks shining with those that had escaped. Lucifer felt horrible, but didn't know what he could possibly say to appease her. She didn't believe he was the devil, so she'd never believe anything else.

"I do trust you, Chloe," he whispered. "I trust you implicitly, but I'm afraid you simply won't believe anything of what's caused my... erratic behavior recently."

"Lucifer..."

"Chloe, you won't even believe I am who I say I am." She stared at him, her face twisting with frustration. "And before you rebuke my claim... again..."

"Lucifer, you can't be the devil," she said, shaking her head.

"Believe me, I am. If you still refuse to believe, why not go talk to the doctor? You encouraged me to show her my true self and she asked for it. And when I did, she nearly went... catatonic, for Pete's sake!" His anger began to boil, but he forced himself to keep it in check. Instead, he broke free of her hold and went to stand by the bar.

"Lucifer, c'mon! I... I thought you told me that you would never lie to..."

"I'm NOT lying, detective!" he hollered, his jaw clenching as he spun to stare at her. "I don't lie! I've told you that! I may, sometimes, omit the truth, choosing not to disclose details of a supernatural nature that I know you won't believe anyway! What's the point of making myself sound even crazier? I'm already pretty sure there's a big part of you that thinks I should be locked up! Why would I give you ammo?"

At some point during his rant, Chloe's face had changed. Her eyes were wide with shock and she'd taken several steps back from him, closer to the window. With a sigh, he realized his eyes must have flashed somewhere in his tirade. He swung his head away from her and put his face in his hands, leaning against the counter.

"Just go, detective," he murmured. "You're obviously not ready for this..." When he lifted his head, he sucked back his tears, reached behind the bar for another bottle of scotch, unstoppered it and took a long swig. He sensed her coming up behind him, but he shrugged away, dodging out of her reach, heading towards the balcony.

"Lucifer, don't!" she gasped, but he just gave a exasperated raspberry-like sound.

"I'm not going to jump, detective!" he yelled back. "I'd never be that drunk! And it wouldn't do any good anyway! Immortal, remember?" Then, he straightened. "No... no, that's right. You don't believe me!"

"Lucifer, I believe you, ok?" she breathed, taking a step closer to him.

"Detective, I'm not suicidal, I'm not drunk and I'm not delusional." He set the bottle on the table and lit a cigarette, taking a long drag, but it did nothing to soothe him. He stubbed it out after one puff. "Please, go away, detective," he said, his voice quiet, but she heard him and kept coming closer. "Detective, this isn't going to work. You don't believe me; you never will. And I won't make the same mistake I made with the doctor. I won't show you my true self!"

Chloe stepped out onto the balcony with him, stopping only once she was face to face with him. She sighed and looked deep into his eyes. Nodding, she stepped around him and placed one of the armed chairs behind him and took another for herself, installing it so they would be knee-to-knee once seated.

"Okay, Lucifer. Sit down," she said, taking her spot in front of him as he took his. She wrapped her hands around his and placed them centered between them. "I'm going to try, okay?" she said, taking long deep breaths. "This may have seemed silly to me at first, but it seems real to you. And you're ready to send me to someone who can back up your claim?" she said, her face searching his.

"I can guarantee you, detective, with a hundred and ten percent certainty, that I can prove who I am."

"So do it," she said.

"No..." He tried to pull away, but she wouldn't let him. "No, detective, you don't know what you're asking. I showed the doctor and she could barely keep it together afterwards! She looked like she was about to lose it!" he insisted, but she shook her head.

"No, Lucifer. I... If you truly are the devil, then... then,as your partner, I have a right to know for sure. I need you to show me. Prove it to me... once and for all."

Lucifer looked deep into her eyes and felt his resolve weaken. She was right; as his partner and friend, she deserved to know the truth. He sighed and nodded his head.

"Alright, detective, but I think it would be best if we put a little distant between us first."

"Why?" she asked with a small grin. "Are you... do you burst into flames? Or something that's dangerous to be near?"

"No, detective, I'm not Ghost Rider," he said, some of the old Lucifer sneaking out and reassuring her. She smiled. "No, it's just..." he trailed off in thought. "It's a very shocking face. It's... it's the face of a monster," he said simply, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. She reached out and caressed his face, surprising him with her tenderness. Brushing it away, gave his other hand a squeeze.

"You're not a monster, Lucifer. You're a fallen angel; there's a difference."

"You're humoring me."

"No, I'm forcing myself to believe you."

"Believe me when I say that my inner self is not for the faint of heart," he advised. "Please, detective. Do this for me. Just... just maybe stand by the door while I... I'll stay here." He let out a little chuckle. "Besides... perhaps you'll be happy you got a head-start towards the elevator when you see me," he said, looking away.

"I promise you, I won't run away," she said, turning his face back to hers. Then, she smiled and nodded. "But, okay... if you really want me to, I'll stand by the door."

Chloe stood up, pushing the chair back a few inches and her hair fell into Lucifer's face, the smell intoxicating him. As she started to make her way to the door, Lucifer checked the movement by pulling her into him and pressing his lips to hers in a sweet, desperate kiss. He didn't deepen it, or let his hands roam her body. He simply brought them up to cup her face and give her the most innocent of kisses possible. When he parted only moments later, he had tears on his face once more.

"I'm so sorry, detective," he breathed, smoothing back her hair. "But I've wanted to do that for... for so long and I... I have a feeling I'll never get another chance after this," he said, trying to hold back more tears. With that, he released and nodded towards the door, holding himself stiffly in place.

Chloe's eyes stayed transfixed on him as she took several steps back, reaching behind her to make sure she didn't bump into the chair on her way. A wayward thought suddenly seemed to occur to her as confusion and disbelief crossed her face; maybe... just maybe, he might be telling the truth.

She bumped into the frame of the window and stopped, holding onto his with white knuckles as she watched him. His voice, his tone, his entire personality seemed too genuine and, as incredible as his claim was, she was inching towards believeing him without having seen... whatever he had to show her. He was just too sure of himself and spoke with such conviction that there were only two options; he was completely insane or...

"Are you ready, Chloe?" he asked, his eyes pleading and full of terror. The terror of being rejected, of being fled from. The terror of being left. She wanted to hold him.

"I... I am," she whispered. She took a deep breath and braced herself. "I'm right here," she said. "And I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Lucifer... look at me," she demanded, his eyes lifting to hers. "If this is true... if you're the devil... you're definitely going to shock me," she said pointedly, making him shrug out a small chuckle. "But, Lucifer... I promise..."

Lucifer blinked back tears again and gave a nod before taking a long deep breath. He lowered his head and sighed.

Before Chloe's eyes, the curls atop his head faded away and left a red bald head facing her. She bit her lower lip and clung even more tightly to the patio frame behind her. He hadn't lied.

Ever so slowly, he lifted his head and gave her a chance to look at his true face, but his eyes stayed fixed on the ground, refusing to meet her gaze.

Surprise gave way to shock and, after several minutes, shock gave way to sympathy. His true self looked painful, his face appearing as if it had been flayed. It was heart-wrenching to see and Chloe was torn between a desire to flee and wanting to comfort him. She breathed hard, trying to catch his eye and make him look at her, but he keep them downcast. Even pitch black with crimson irises couldn't conceal the pain and tears swimming in them.

"Go, detective," he whispered and she felt herself awaken from her trance. It was still Lucifer. Despite looking like he'd been skinned alive, she still recognized the heart-breaking murmur as his voice. "Please." His eyes slipped closed and she saw the tears spill out onto his red cheeks.

Then, he gasped and his eyes shot open at the feel of her hand on his. She had stepped closer and was even touching him. Yes, there was a lot of uncertainty and even a modicum of fear hiding deep in her eyes, but she wasn't paralyzed with fear or running for dear life. No, she had actually summoned up the courage to come closer to him and reach out to comfort him, no small feet for a human who had just seen the devil in the flesh.

"It's still you," she breathed incredulously, staring deep into his red eyes now that he was finally looking back at her. She reached up, her hand hovering an inch or two from his cheek. "Will... will I hurt you if... if I touch..." The shake of his head was near imperceptible. "Okay..." she sighed, taking a deep, slow breath, then she cupped his face and wiped away a tear.

"Chloe," he sobbed, shrinking away after a second of her touch, unable to bear her seeing him like this, but she didn't let go of him. Instead, she brought up her other hand and cupped his face between her palms. His skin wasn't slick with body fluids or sticky even. It was smooth and shone like scar tissue.

"It's okay, Lucifer..." she whispered, locking eyes with him once more. "It's okay..." She let a corner of her mouth lift in a half smile. "Don't get me wrong... it's a little on the shocking side... and..." she licked her lips, "your other face is... _much_ easier on the eyes," she said, smiling as she felt a chuckle bounce his shoulders. "But, it's okay... and I'm not going anywhere..." She let the pads of her thumbs brush over his cheeks, biting her lip. "And..." Her eyes looked over his entire face, then paused ever so briefly on his lips. "And I promise..." Locking her gaze with his once more, she leaned in, so slowly it felt like time was standing still. She hesitated a fraction of a second, but still she held his gaze and, looking to his lips once more, leaned the rest of the way in and kissed him.

With her eyes closed, she felt the flesh beneath her hands smooth back into regular skin, the rasp of his scruff tickling her palms and her chin as he responded and she knew he'd changed back to human Lucifer. She hummed against his mouth and pulled back, staring into the familiar chocolate brown eyes she knew so well. Now, the only red left on his face were the lower rims of his eyes, raw from all the shed tears and, by the looks of it, he wasn't completely finished yet.

"You..." he breathed out. "You are the most... extraordinary... and exquisite person... I've ever met."

"And, considering your lifetime," she pointed out, "that's saying something."

"Father knows I love to make jokes, but please don't make light of this. Chloe, you are... you're amazing," he murmured. "I... May I just... just hold you? For a little while?" he asked, so tender that she couldn't possibly refuse him. She smiled and took his hand.

"C'mon... let's go sit down on the couch. I... I think I could use that drink now." Although her eyes sparkled with laugh, her face was nothing but compassion. "C'mon, Lucifer."

"I do believe, Chloe Decker," he whispered, following her over to the couch where she sat down and curled against him, "that you just might be... _my_ guardian angel..."

"And you're my morning star."


End file.
